Recently an article was written about my husband and I in the Huffington Post by our dear friend, John Robbins.
The article was contrasting the difference of two choices, one choice was a man who weighed over 500 pounds and was proud of that, and ate a diet filled with food that I would hope any sensible person would call unhealthy. And the other, the path that my husband and I chose to follow a plant-based diet after some pretty big health scares.
The funny thing is, I didn’t think the article was all that harsh or even judgmental toward non-vegans, in fact all John really says is to drink less soda, eat less processed foods and eat more vegetables. It’s hardly offensive, it’s hardly shocking, it’s not even that crazy even for the biggest junk food addicts.
Yet, the comments. There were some nice ones (thank you) but the amount of comments just lashing out at John, the article, myself or my husband? Shocking. Somehow this article managed to offend people, in the worst way.
What is most shocking is that no one seemed to be as offended or shocked or upset that there is a man (the owner of the heart attack grill) who is making a living off of feeding people foods that he WILLINGLY admits will kill them and uses sex and cruelty toward obese people to make a living. Of course this man will claim he doesn’t judge obese people, no, he just uses them and uses them to be humiliated and make fun of the way they eat. He also will not hire an obese woman to work at his eating establishment, all of the waitresses are skinny and use sex to help sell their food.
Yet, that is not the offensive part to some people reading the article. The offensive part is that I, someone who was at the brink of suicide because of my weight and diabetes – decided to eat a healthy diet, free of processed foods and animals. The offensive part was that I stopped eating animals. It wasn’t a drastic change, it wasn’t a change the had an impact on anyone else but myself, I am not making any money telling people to eat kale, whereas the owner of the “Heart Attack Grill” makes a lot of money telling people to eat poorly. And yet, my story is the offensive one to some people.
I was tempted to be very angry and upset at these comments. But instead I found myself with great compassion, love and even understanding. There was a time I would have reacted the same way. In fact, when my friend first told me about a plant-based diet I was VERY angry with her and the notion of giving up animals. The sad thing is, I still don’t know why. It was a gut reaction. It was a reaction that had I followed, I can promise you I would not have part of my leg right now, and in all honestly, I do not think I would have continued to live. My life was that miserable for me.
I gave up a few foods. That was my offense.
My husband gave up a few foods, that was his offense.
We live a healthy life, free of cruelty, that is our offense.
We live an offensive life.
And it is ok that so many believe our life is offensive. It is ok, because again, we were once those people. There was a day before I decided to give up a few foods and live the plant-based life. There was a time I hated vegans and vegetarians for their lives, their lives offended me. And now I live that offensive life.
I hope that no one has to ever go through what my husband and I did. I hope that people can make gradual changes toward a more healthy life, even at the risk that they will offend others with their healthy eating.
We live in a world where sometimes the saddest of behaviors, the most cruel acts toward people and living creatures is NOT the most offensive thing. The most offensive thing to some people is the way that my husband and I live.
I wish it did not have to be that way, that we lived in a world in which people celebrated health and good choices about nutrition. A world in which obese people were not used and made fun of to make money, but instead helped in caring ways. A world in which people with diseases that could be reversed or prevented were not used and taken advantage of, but instead helped and cared for.
My life offended no one when I was obese, living with out of control diabetes, on the brink of losing part of my leg and contemplating suicide, because I was still eating animals, and that offended no one. However, my life which is filled with happiness, health and hope has become what has offended so many. And for those people who take offense to my life, I am so sorry to offend you in that way, and I hope with all the compassion I can stir up inside of me, that should you ever go through what I have, you will consider, even briefly living a more offensive life.
Very well written post. When people chide me for being vegan I always reply that I certainly would never expect them to eat food they don’t like and I don’t understand why they expect differently of me. As I said yesterday, I think there is a bit of guilt that comes into play for them when I tell them I’m vegan.
You are the most offensive people I know and I love you for it. Happy to be on Team Offense with you.
Excellently written…and sadly it’s true…for whatever reason animal eating people seem to find offense and think they’re entitled to try to make us feel differently yet we don’t push our ways on them or chastise them for eating animal….here’s to our ‘offensive’ lives
I read the article and some of the comments. I am inspired by you and yours husband’s stories and am a vegetarian on my way to becoming a healthy vegan. It doesn’t matter what you do sometimes; people will be offended.
Congrats to you both for regaining your health by eating better. I look forward to offending people with my healthier life as well.
Agreed – very well written, so compelling. You’re amazing. Thank you for writing this on behalf of so many people in your position. It’s my goal every day to find a way to talk about veganism without offending non-vegans. Maybe one day we’ll overcome this issue.
When you catch crawfish in a bucket, every now and then when crawls up tot he top of the bucket and tries to escape to freedom, but invariably, the other crawfish pull him down to his certain death.
You, Natala, are the one crawfish who got out of the bucket. The rest of the crawfish are most of the people who posted (anonymously) about you on the blog. Some are even your “friends and family”.
People are very threatened when they hear a success story like yours. First of all, it threatens them to the core of their being. They don’t want to hear that their food choices can make them well because then THEY HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FACT THAT IT WAS THEIR POOR FOOD CHOICES THAT MADE THEM SICK IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
It is so much easier to blame their genes, society, their mother, etc. etc. People don’t like to be reminded that they, too, have food addictions. So your story, instead of making them happy, makes them mad.
A very wise man, (Dr. Caldwell B. Esselstyn, Jr.) once told me that “the stature of a man can be measured by what bothers him”. Your remarkable story bothers these people – it hurt a nerve. It brings up things they would rather not have to look at. It goes against the norm and what their doctor says.
Cream ALWAYS rises to the top,a nd you my friend are the most luscious and inspirational non-dairy cream of all. Please stop reading the blog and do not give these assholes anymore of you time, attention or ENERGY!!! You have bigger tofu to fry!!!
Love & Kale,
Chef AJ
Well said, Chef AJ! Natala, you’re doing a great job, and I love that you choose to respond with compassion and understanding–so beautiful! And John Robbins wrote a good article that pointed to a contrast in an “isn’t that interesting” kind of way–totally un-offensive.
Bravo!
Hi there,
Sorry to hear that, well you have to realize that people on the Internet ARE just plain rude and annoying, they wouldn’t act like that in public. My suggestion is to forge ahead and forget those jerks!
Also people do not understand vegans or vegetarians and they will come up with any excuse or argument in the world as to why we are wrong. Get used to that, sadly. They want to keep on doing what they are doing and not change. You’ve obviously found what works for you. You should be proud!
Choosing what you want to eat is one of the most basic and beautiful human rights! I don’t understand why people get so up in arms about what each other’s eating! “OMG you want to eat vegetables how could you! That’s insane! OMG ur CrAzY!” haha it’s just silly.
“MISERY LOVES COMPANY”…… everyone that finds you offensive is sad and depressed that you are leaving the pool. Also NO ONE LIKES THEIR CONTRADICTIONS & HYPOCRITICAL ways pointed out. IF they agree with you then they will feel like they have to change as well and they don’t want to change and admit they are doing something bad. A DRUG addict is never admitting drugs is BAD. They say ” I have it under control, it does not affect me like it does others ” an ALCOHOLIC says the same and so does a CHRONIC SMOKER. Admitting YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IS the 1st STEP in SOLVING THE PROBLEM. Pointing out peoples problems makes them feel uncomfortable and feel attacked. Hence I have nothing wrong with me so I don’t have to fix shit.
Very honest and moving post. When I became a Vegan, I guess I offended people too because I lost close friends and my in-laws acted as if I had turned to Satan (rather than seitan…sorry, it had to be said
As Chef AJ said, people are threatened by our choices because it holds up a mirror to them and their choices. They are offended that we have stopped eating animals because it shines a light on the fact that they have not. They continue to be part of the “normal” lifestyle that says it’s ok to kill an innocent being just because they like how that being tastes.
Like you, that was me a little more than 2 1/2 years ago. While I never hated vegetarians – in fact, I admired them, I had always wanted to be a vegetarian but my food addiction got in my way; I thought I could never give up chicken – and I didn’t even know what a vegan was, I was defensve in my eating choices.
You know when you say you love animals and then someone inevitably asks if you eat them and you have no good answer – that kind of defensiveness.
If you and your husband have saved lives by turning to a Vegan diet, those of the animals and yourselves, and if that has offended people, then keep on offending them. You do not need to justify or defend your choices to anyone. Let the people who keep the killing going be on the defensive.
You are a great role model – compassionate is what everyone should be reaching for.
To have gotten such a reaction, a nerve has been struck. It would be more worrisome to have gotten NO reaction. They may bluster & protest & be defensive….but the thought will be in the back of their minds….”what if…..would my results be the same? What if I could turn my health around, too?” It makes people angry & defensive to hear bad news about their habits/addictions.
You have planted the seed. Here’s wishing that it sprout & blossom, and other people will start on the road to health, as you & your husband have.
Amazing and inspiring. I have tears!
Keep on offending!
thank you for sharing your inspiring story. as for the haters, i was reminded of one of my favorite Gandhi quotes:
“First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win.”
After many years, veganism is no longer being ignored — far from it — and it is in stage 2 and 3 right now, right on track….
Each person is on their path, and I think people ridiculing and fighting are well on their way to adopting what is the most ethical, healthy, and sustainable choice.
Best wishes, and keep speaking up for your compassionate and healthy lifestyle!
Bless all my vegans…..friends…who gave up alot for our heavenly creatures….l too have stop….eating meat…and getting away more and more from chicken…my freezer is all vegan..dishes…which l love and starting to feel better…my friends think l am crazy….but that is my choice l made..for me and to be healthy……l said to them (THAT MY STOMACH IS NOT A TOMB FOR DEAD ANIMALS)…they look at me…strange..but l am still learning about it….to be sure l am getting the vitamins l need….thanks for all the posts l learn..from you all…please keep me in your prayers…that l am on a percious journey…eating a better lifestlye..amen…
I think what offends people is being preached to or judged. There is an air of sanctimony to people that speak (or post) about their beliefs to people they know do not share them.
For instance, I’m not christian, but I don’t feel the need to proclaim to christians that they are idiots for being christian. (even if I feel that this the case) Nor do I feel the need to find a more backhanded way to insinuate that they are idiots without saying it directly.
Obviously, many vegans feel a moral imperative to “spread the gospel”. While I understand that, I also don’t think vegans should be shocked by people getting annoyed by it.
(this is a general statement, not directed at the original post)
Beautiful. The amount of anger and misunderstanding that is out there is astonishing. May you continue to “offend” in ways that remain as compassionate and far-reaching as they are.
Thank you. I feel less alone now.
I believe my in-laws think I went vegan to spite them! (btw…my sil has had to install a chair-lift and purchase a lifting chair because of her health/weight and she is only 58.)
One scenario that repeats itself (especially during the holidays) is someone offering food then will look at me and say ‘oh…you can’t eat this’….to which I sometimes now reply with ‘I can eat anything I want …I just choose not to.’
People have become so condtioned that they have forgotten they have a choice!
Just know you are not alone in ‘offending’….in fact…I believe you are in good company!
‘I can eat anything I want …I just choose not to.’
I have started saying this, too! And it’s working well for ME to hear myself say it, too, whenever I encounter what once was a favorite food, and think “drat. I can’t have that.”
Well, NO. I CAN have that. I just choose not to. Makes it all so much more empowering, and removes any sense of “deprivation” almost immediately.
This phrase is perfect! I will also start using it. Thanks for your post.
Beautifully written Natala. Since I have chosen to become a vegan, I have been chided and ridiculed for my choice. I think what it comes down to, is not that we are preaching to them, because we aren’t (and shouldn’t be), but that somehow they feel as though we are holding a mirror up to them with regards to their eating, and they don’t like it. Does that make sense? They know that they aren’t making the right choices, and while we were beside them making the same wrong choices, it was ok. Now by choosing different healthy choices, they think we are criticizing. I’ve actually sat at lunch with someone, who apologized to me for what they were eating, when they found out I was vegan. ???
I’m not offended by what they choose, I was offended by what I was choosing before my vegan lifestyle.
I read this article twice. by myself, and then with my parents who do meatless mondays, but think that everything is “fine in moderation” incl. bacon cheeseburgers. They are also overweight.
No one was offended, and even my parents, who although supportive, remain highly skeptical about my vegan diet, said “this was a really great article. really fair. so sad to read about that man. he should have cared about himself for his little girl. actually, I think Mr. Robbins was a little too conservative.”
Because I tend to feel I am biased anytime a “go vegan” article comes out, I always look to my parents reaction to judge how it is received. Even they were shocked by the responses.
My mom apparently spent some time reading through them because she sent me an email later that night saying how “shocked” she was. That the information “wasn’t new and was common sense” and that “people just don’t want to get healthy.”
I think that last part is true. It’s like the child who puts his hands over his ears and sings lalalalalala trying to drown out information he doesn’t want to hear. People don’t want to hear the truth. The angered response is a coping mechanism.
Challenge the status quo and people will fight you to the death.
I think back to what I always tell new vegans who are getting flack from their friends. I remind them that their mere existence makes their friends reflect back on themselves. and they don’t like what they see, so they attack to feel better about themselves.
that is true here. as ever.
Beautiful, Natala!
I want you to know that your story is giving my mother hope. She just started a plant based diet 3 weeks ago to combate diabetes, and it has been a struggle for her. I sent her the Huffington Post article and it’s fuel for her to keep fighting for her health. Thank you.
Natala, I cried while reading the article on HuffPo – I know of your struggle, and I know of your success…and I wish I was offensive like you are – I think the negativity amounts to jealousy more than anything – you found something that actually works, while 2/3 of America is looking for a “lose weight quick” scheme that will ultimately fail. I am so proud to call you my friend.
Chicky (Kathy)
P.S. Phil and I were watching an episode of Ellen last week – he knows how much I want to go Vegan…for the first time, he said, “I think if you fed me Gardein without me knowing it, I might actually like it”. I almost fainted. Unfortunately, when I looked for it at my grocery, they had never even heard of it – I plan on finding it though – and I can’t wait! Baby steps!
P.S.S. I have a friend that recently went vegetarian, she read the article too, and was so impressed with you. She asked me to tell you that you are her new hero. (She’s gonna have to stand in line for that!)
It’s sad that an issue that should be so simple and obvious is rather so polarizing. Never be afraid to share your knowledge. Thanks for the link to the Huffington Post article …it inspired my post today.
http://melissasmeanderings.wordpress.com/
Natala – I haven’t been writing a whole lot lately, but one of my latest blogs was called, “If This Offends You… Why?” Even though I used to be an omnivore who was felt threatened by the idea of veganism because it made me realize I wasn’t really the animal lover I thought I was, it has been so long for me that I no longer get why people are so offended by the choices we have made.
I was so pleased to read about you in the HuffPost Health article. You continue to be such an amazing inspiration and I’m so proud to call you a friend even though we have yet to meet in person. Thank you for all you do.
your compassion inspires me. thank you for living an offensive life.
You have become healthier and happier by putting more thought into your choice of foods. When seeing your example other people have a choice: they can be inspired to put similar care into making new choices, or they can feel threatened and defensive while continuing to make the same poor choices. Your example prompts people to question things they may have never previously questioned. This is both wonderful and necessary, but not all minds are prepared for this. This is to be expected. “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”
Natala: I read Linda’s post then your article, but have not read John’s yet (next step), but I did want to post. I bought the book you suggested, The Engine 2 Diet, as well as one you didn’t suggest called, “The complete idiot’s Guide to Vegan Cooking. Chicky talked about a baby step, well that’s what this was for me. I just started reading the “Engine” so I’m not there yet, but doing as Linda suggested, educating myself.
I’m often surprised at the outrage that is expressed when someone finds out I am vegan. Like your experience, it seems that what I eat (or choose not to eat) impacts some part of their life that I’m not aware. I find it very sad even doctors aren’t on board with plant-based eating given all the research that has been done and is even more available to them. I have lost friends because of how I choose to eat and live. I’m sorry for that but refuse to change just to make other people happy. I choose to eat well and live without guilt. If that is offensive to people then I’m happy to offend.
Natala,
As you know, I have started reading The China Study and I am truly absorbing the information within the pages. One of the things that I appreciate about the book is how well the studies are documented and the links to the food industry and political climates.
Over the years, I have had a love/hate relationship with vegetarians. When I was growing up in Berkeley, they often were the weirdest people and were involved with many of the more loony social causes (loony for Berkeley is pretty loony). My ex-husband was a vegetarian and a bully to boot. So my knee-jerk reaction to vegetarians has been “He** to the No!”. When I first heard of vegans, I rolled my eyes thinking “what now”.
I am a healthy woman -have been for most of my life. Even though I eat meat and dairy in moderation, I have always enjoyed abundant servings of fruits and vegetables. I am making the plans for the encore of my life and I want to do whatever I can to enjoy it and not be a financial burden on my children. If making changes in my diet will afford me this enormous benefit, then those changes can and will be made. (As long as I don’t have to give up wine – that’s plant based!!)
P.S. I have been telling the story of you and Mark to my kids when they began questioning the purchases of whole wheat pastas and the removal of bacon from the pot of greens. I will show the Huffington Post to them, I think that the author’s point is well made.
Natala – I’ll just have to be offensive with you. Cause, frankly, I don’t care if someone gets offended by what I eat (or don’t eat) or what I feed my kids. I made a choice, I didn’t tell anyone else they had to do it, it was a choice for me. But it someone wants to push me about it or give me grief – I’ll be more than happy to tell them that I choose not to eat decaying animal flesh or breast milk that was stolen from a captive cow. And if they continue to push me, I’ll also be happy to give them a little education on how the farmer maintains that constant supply of milk.
BTW – I know it is Matt. I don’t know why I wrote Mark.
I think many people are scared. They are scared to change — even if it’s for the better. You represent someone who makes people look at themselves and challenge themselves. At first, this can be upsetting and people have knee-jerk reactions. But the truth is, it’s incredibly empowering.
You are doing a huge service by sharing your story with the world. Change happens because of people like you and your husband who speak truth to power.
xoxo Ari
p.s. you know the owner of that restaurant died a few weeks ago, right? guess it goes to show…? he was only 29! that place lets people who weigh over 350 pounds eat free! wtf. it’s fucked!
http://blogs.forbes.com/oshadavidson/2011/03/05/a-cautionary-tale-575-pound-owner-of-heart-attack-grill-dies-at-29/
From my own experience, I believe that people are offended by others’ choices that they know, deep down, they ought to be (at least) considering. Here it is, in their face by the fact that they’re reading about you. They absolutely do not want to face it, so they go into denial and on the offensive.
It’s not at all about you. It’s all about where they are. Please keep that in mind: it has absolutely nothing to do with you!
I believe that when people are offended they think that we are trying to take away their choices. And sometimes they know they need to change. I have people in my family that are obese and have many health problems, but they keep on doing the same thing and eating the same way. I don’t go around them because they think i’m weird since i’m vegan. I’m not weird, and i dont try to push my ideas on anyone. But, if they want to discuss it or ask questions i will gladly tell them anything they want to know. I feel i’m on the path i’m meant to be on, and i eat in a way that makes me happy. I couldnt live with myself if i did it any other way.
Well said, Natala!
I think you need to make up some “PROUD TO OFFEND YOU” buttons to sell.
I just wanted to add my support and let you know that I was moved by your story. A lot of people don’t realize how hard dealing with food addiction is, you still have to eat so you can’t just cut it out like cigarettes. I didn’t read all of the comments, but very few things make me more upset than when people say they don’t feel sorry for fat people, because they choose to be fat.
Much vegan love!
Your story is amazing! Keep taking care of yourself & the animals.
Natala, you are an inspiration. So well said….LOVE and LIGHT!
Natala…I was very encouraged by your story and it has made me more committed to a healthy lifestyle. I can relate to the negativity because I had one friend respond very nastily and hostile to me about becoming a vegetarian.
When I was eating junk I guess it gave her comfort – but I start eating healthy and she is bothered…strange! Keep doing what you are doing because many people lives are being changed through your courage.
I have seen a similar situation with the government mandated calorie counts on menus. The vast majority of people commenting on this issue are VERY angry that the government would ever get involved. I have actually seen people say that they have the “right” to be fat if they want to be and that health information shouldn’t be shoved down their throats. I agree with this, but how is providing calorie information hurting anyone? If you don’t want to use the information, you don’t have to! I think people are just afraid of feeling guilty for their own actions.
It is very disheartening to find almost no one in support of more information and transparency in the food industry. Why should we have more information, when it is so much easier to look the other way?
Natala, It was a joy and honor meeting you outside of Whole Foods this morning. I look forward to learning more about your journey, and (hopefully, slowly) sharing some of your wisdom and experience with my mother.
We tiptoe around our “offensive” life choices in my family (my being vegan, her being born again Christian– and neither of us sharing those points of view). Perhaps it’s time to sit down and have a serious discussion.